Thoughts on . . . Dying?

20051029-L1040578

10:01:2014

Thoughts on dying.

. . . it continues
Day in
Day out
Trepidation
I sleep in my chair
I wake in my chair
I spend the day in my chair
Full of gas, needing help
With every move I would like
To make. MND Is diabolical
I am in no pain
I have not lost a limb
Nature is far from me as
I sit.
Quietly. Holding, meditating
On to serenity
I enjoy a constant dialogue
With the sun of god
That has been a gift
A new day dawns and I smile
As the Sun rises
The Navaho taught me
To face east in the morning
It’s hard to share my thoughts
Actually they make me . . . Sick
F.E.A.R. I guess
I repeat the Serenity Prayer
Grace to accept the things
I cannot change
Over and Over. Let go, Let god.
Tell me god, your will, not mine
I look to muy lover with sadness
not easy for muy Emily.
My daughter Emma is with me
It’s tough for her. She is a
Treasure along with her sister
And my memories are so clear
Love wins over all.
Faith replaces fear.
I am at mile 26 of my final marathon
385 yards to go
A procession of friends, music
Sharing, food, wine & laughter
Breathing becoming harder by
The minute. I am ready.
An Attitude of Gratitude.
I have enjoyed a dialogue
With the god of my understanding
I am clear in my choice
I am feeling positive and serene
I look forward to going
Home
Home to the universe
Filled with light and love
I am enjoying
Dialogue with muy Lover
Dialogue with muy Daughter
Sister Jennifer
Brother john
Thank you both
Friends, Family visiting
Supported by carers

I am about to free my spirit from my body
My spirit is strong
My body is dying MND cannot be turned
I am not nor want to be
A vegetable

I am returning as A heron
Amen.

About kiwicafe

1955 . . . as a teenager in New Zealand, according to friends :) I talked incessantly of photography & philosophy, in my early twenties I hung out with photographers as I began my film editing career in Australia, I bought a variety of cameras, a faux snapper I guess, more interested in film editing, travel and back deck philosophy through which my curiosity took me from Sydney to New York & Venice Beach. For 45 years have I enjoyed working with some truly great creative directors, writers, art directors, film directors, photographers, producers et al . . . hopefully I learned a thing or two! I did win a bunch of awards and went from Editor of the Year in Australia to one of the top commercial film editors in America, not bad for a skinny kid from New Zealand. 2003 . . . newly divorced, I took the pledge, became 'one of many', an American Citizen & went Searching for Zane Grey's America. For two glorious years I filmed, photographed & blogged my way around the American West. 2006 . . . returned to Aotearoa NZ, restoring a small vineyard and continuing to film, photograph and write. I exhibited & sold some images, harvested a great vintage of both red & white, sold the vineyard, edited a movie or two & now, 2013, I have discovered a whole new journey for myself, via motor neurone disease. I continue to practice my love for film | fotography | philosophy as best I can, I am in a good place, there are no mistakes in life!
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16 Responses to Thoughts on . . . Dying?

  1. Andy Quick says:

    still think about you bro, miss you

  2. Dan says:

    Richard,
    Just a note to acknowledge your passing. Thank you for the beautiful metaphor of the heron and for your wisdom and friendship. My life changed when I met you. You encouraged me to write my life story and I did. It was the doorway to understanding my father and you asked me to walk through it. I couldn’t do it by myself so you came with me. After I read it to you I said that if felt like I had been to a funeral. “You have, ” you said. Nothing about the past changed but my perception did and that changed everything. I hope I can be for others what you were for me.

    Bon Voyage, my friend. See you on the other side.

    Dan

  3. Alison says:

    Fly, you beautiful Heron – fly with the Light.

  4. Kathleen Yip says:

    Dearest Richard, Peter Moss and I send you our love and that you will soar as a Heron. We will see you again…xoxo

  5. I often think of you Richard on lives journey, thanks for sharing, we worked together in Sydney during the amazing 80’s, see you on the other side !

  6. heather burgess says:

    you lived down the road but I met you only once. I met you many times on Facebook and feel privileged. to have done so. RIP

  7. Robert Anderson says:

    Free bird at last.

  8. Karin St√ľnkel says:

    Frank`s Cousin from Germany: Richard many, many thanks for your thoughts

  9. You are in my thoughts, Richard. Thank you for sharing your struggle and courage so openly. Kia kaha, love from Richard

  10. Rochelle says:

    What an inspiration you are Richard. I’m sorry we never got to meet (my husband Harvey Lewis adores you) but how grateful I am for “knowing” you via the wonders of technology. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your struggles–our love to you and your family. May you soar as the heron…

  11. consultingchick says:

    Beautifully said Richard–you are such an inspiration. May you fly long and far and free as the heron. God bless.

  12. Kristine Masta says:

    I Love You Richard, my Friend, my Mentor. XxoO

  13. Geoff Walker says:

    See ya soon Richard, now what variety of heron are ya planning on!! You are a legend and truly an inspiration…. bless you and yours….

  14. Shirley says:

    Hi Richard, My thoughts are with you as you approach the next stages of your journey. Go well dear friend, you are an inspiration. Sending love, Shirley (Home group)

  15. Carl Willis says:

    Thinking of you every day Richard.
    Your spirit is as strong as ever and I am in awe of your resolve.
    Hoping it goes well for you.

  16. pschaffer says:

    Thinking of you, Richard. Think we never met IRL (in real life) and I’m sorry about that. You’re very brave. Best to you. Again, you’re in my thoughts. And in the thoughts of many others…

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