Monday and off to visit a new Hospice which has me depressed. I look out the rear window as the sun hits the hills.
Thursday 9/11 . . . and the power has gone out again.
Storms ravage Aotearoa and the Wairarapa has been clobbered.
What can I do but sit in my chair, stare out the window and wonder at nature. The yellow flowers of the Kowhai explode in dramatic contrast against blue black storm clouds. Glimpses of Japanese Cherry Blossoms. Hardly a sound penetrates the house. I can see the wind but cannot hear feel or taste the wind. Amazing. No power and yet I can sit and absorb the beauty around me. Inside and Out. Interior walls covered with art. Glass. Pottery. Artifacts. Posters. Paintings. Photography. We have created an oasis of beauty in which to live. sunlight dances across the garden as wind dances through the trees. Different trees different dance patterns. My fingers skid similarly across my keyboard. Finger nails need trimming. My muscular control no longer at my command. The garden comes alive guided by nature before my eyes. Wind swept choreography. In the moment :-) Mindfulness. It is what it is. Man cannot, though he blindly tries, control nature.
Another Power outage. No lights. No television. No Internet. No music. Back to basics has me smiling. Back to reading and writing as long as the batteries of my iPad last, then . . . Back to my self. Time with and for my Self. Simplicity is the key.
Intrusive Ugly Sounds return as the Television kicks back on and my serenity and solitude are once more . . . life interrupted.
Bugger . . . It’s gone again :-) Powerless! Merde!
Monday 16 September
My writing is becoming harder and harder. A frustrating challenge. Fingers slip off the keys, misspelling makes for more corrections and less intuitive stream of consciousness. Merde indeed!
Tuesday and constipation has me within it’s deadly grip. Merde :-) Yesterday we met a new contact, a senior nurse from the Wairarapa Hospice Service. Inspiring. Fingers crossed as it appears that all of a sudden a great deal more support is available. Out of the blue and greatly appreciated. Gratitude. The sun is beaming down on the garden, time for outdoor solace. Muy lover is off to Wellington to visit family. The Americas Cup has a rest day. Maybe I will junk out on a Movie or two. Chinatown is a favorite of mine. Great writing direction and acting. I love LA and the stories it has empowered by great writers. It has me smile when I read of kiwis who travel to LA and their experiences are based on their Airport entrance to America and the Boardwalk at Venice Beach. There is so much more to LA than they ever imagine.
MND huh . . . I never ever imagined I would be caught out by something like this. It’s a toughie that’s for sure. Friends have disappeared. The cost to muy lover is huge. My creative projects languish. And for me? It’s hard not to feel sorry for myself at times. I look at events around the world and I wonder. Death, pain, despair. Where do I and those like me fit into the bigger picture? Like my American citizenship, I am just one amongst many. Simple really. And so I ask myself, what can I do today? I don’t want or wish to feel sorry for myself. I would like to be productive. Moment by moment. It’s okay to feel sad.
Muy Emily is back home, my constipation has gone :-) been working on my photography so all in all a challenging day turned into a fruitful day. Gratitude.
Wednesday and off to Wellington to the Respiratory Clinic for a breathing adjustment. All is well no adjustment needed. Too much wind on San Francisco Bay, no sailing today. Time wise America is behind us but in every other aspect, nearly every other aspect, ahead.
Back home . . . bipap all good followed by a great lunch at La Bella Italia welcomed like long lost friends. Then home and an exchange of heated words between muy Emily and me. Reality bites. The frustration and cost of MND! Merde! Apologize given and received.
Thursday, one more Team New Zealand win and the Cup returns to basics hopefully. A cold front settles over us and the fire roars warmth at me and the animals. All is well in my world. ODAT!