I heard that the World is about to end, according to the Mayans and some gun toting christian nutters in the USA. I also read once upon a time, according to American Aborigines, that Today is a Good Day to Die.
And so . . .
Thursday 20th December 2012
And here it is is, the Summer Solstice. Confusion reigns! Is the World going to “POOF!” or am I going to “Ta Dah!” Interesting dilemma indeed.
But here I sit, lap top where it belongs, me sort of facing away, just a bit, from the Sun. Butterflies, bees, Insects of all shape and intensity of annoyance hover and flit. As I sit!
Waiting for Armageddon!
Yeah right :) As I sit wondering at this past year or two. Do I wish to record my journey or simply ramble on about life, love and the pursuit of happiness? Somewhere in between, perchance to . . .
Now I am facing God, oops, the Son of my understanding. I can control my chair with the help of a little leverage, just gotta pay attention to what phase I am in. Tilt or Drive! Or to be totally safe, turn it off, good idea.
I just now reversed so I could turn on my desk fan, so I can feel comfortable, which means, I can breath. Bugger, now I got to pee! I’ll be back!
Here I am, physically speaking, as I curl my tongue around a mouthful of soft banana. Bugger, as seon as I wrote that I wanted to sneeze, not pretty with a mouthful of soft banana and a laptop in front of me. It’s one of my losses, not being able to enjoy a sneeze. Bloody motor neurons! When I forget and allow the sneeze instinct to happen, I end up biting my tongue. Not nice.
A blue sky, trees blowing, swaying in the breeze, it’s a beautiful outlook from my studio. Shades of green, layers of leafy texture, not all bad.
2012 . . . Another year in my Journey through Life.
What can I say, but “Thank You”.
I have many people, friends, family, ex’s even :) to thank. Some friends have passed from the journey of Life. They are not gone but physically. Stan, Rosemary, Tony, Richard, Karl, and many more. The twenty young children in Newtown, they passed violently but will never be forgotten. Little angels I have heard. Sounds peaceful.
Great artists, musicians, writer, photographers, film makers even. All moved on from Life but never, ever, forgotten. Ravi Shankar, RIP
Muy Emily and others are challenged by their own health issues and they have my total love and support. None of us are free of the gift of Life, it touches us all. Thank god. So here I sit, uncomfortably I might add, this present chair is my biggest challenge today but in the overall scheme of Life is a mere drop in the bucket.
Kiri has just wandered out of the house and into my studio. Even her journey is a challenge. Her heart, her legs, weak. But she has been my companion for the past 13 years and she follows me still. It’s hard today, I cannot run with her, scratch her, or even feed her. She can’t sit on my lap, or jump on the bed. But she looks at me with unconditional love. She loves muy Emily, for which I am grateful, even if it’s simply because Muy Emily feeds her :)
Gratitude is such a powerful tool and I use it often, crafting serenity and a smile when my diagnosis would have me way down. Down but not out :) I love that.
As a child, a teenager actually, I loved to run and my running buddies were Richard and Tony, now both departed. I am left. I thought of the Marathon a great deal back then. My heroes were marathon runners, Jim Peters, Barry Magee and the great Ethiopian, Abebe Bikila. There have also been female greats, like Rosa Mota and Joan Samuelson. I raise this because I always believed I was here for the long run. I expected, I wanted, to live to be 100 not out! The reality is that, though I ran a couple of Marathons, I found my true distance was middle to distance, especially the 10K. I have done best at this distance and so, here I am, still competing with Life and doing just fine. I even competed in the Wellington Marathon 10K Division this year. In a wheel chair. As a fund raiser for the MND NZ Assn. Now that was fun. The town of my birth, my first race there, ever. In a wheelchair. Yep, Life is full of irony. And yet my greatest gift it would appear, is in the telling of stories. Be it Letter to the Editor writing, editing Television Commercials and the occasional Essay. Or taking on the bureaucracy called Government. This I can continue and I love it. Words have Power. Words have Meaning. I simply Love Words. In the beginning, was the Word. And the word was . . . ? Just Do It!
Twenty Three months ago I hiked my last major hike. A hike I had romanticized for years and a hike I completed with muy Lover. The Tongariro Crossing. After which I completed another Dream, to fish the icy waters of the Tongariro River. It was a week after those two events that I became aware of physical limitations. 68 years of roaming the planet, hiking, running, cycling. Climbing, exploring, filming and photographing. A fit and healthy Dickey. Then I began to stumble, could not unlock a door. 8 months on and then a diagnosis by a Neurologist. Motor Neuron Disease. Life is full of change, it’s the one guaranteed thing on the Journey. Or so I believe. And here I sit, surrounded by books, music, artworks and my camera and computer gear. I feel blessed. I have the love of my Life to share my journey with. Not as we expected but we do have each other. Muy Emily, me her Superman. I love Romance, Life is full of it. I can and do embrace Life. It will end when it ends. Not before! Certainly not in my time :)
Anyhow I manage to keep myself challenged with the new technology which keeps me mentally and emotionally connected to the World. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Flicker, You Tube, the list goes on and on. None of it makes me financially secure but it makes me feel good and productive. I love technology, always have. It also, more importantly, keeps me connected to friends around the Planet. Awesome :)
Here I sit, my carer Bob, awesome by the way :) has arrived to make me some lunch. Muy Emily is in Wellington, hair cut, lunch, grandchildren, living her Life to the full. I love her for it.
Bob has now left after a simple lunch but some great sharing about Life, we are similar but different. Aint that the truth, I love it.
So there we are, here we be, an attitude of gratitude before the world ends as in Melancholia, Lars Von Triers great Movie from last year. Ciao!